Ultimate Stressation...

Today's real stressed up day for me. Even the staff could see I am getting all panicky and stressed up that they keep going 'xiao mei mei, bu yao jing zhang... wo men hui jiu ni de'... But help only came in 15 mins before I knock off... how helpful... I am not complaining... because I understand we are really short handed... But I cant help but to feel I'm not much help when I keep making stupid mistakes I shouldnt.. Like not spotting the mistake of drong dosage being keyed in... Arghh... Especially when its being mentioned infront of the supervisor... Arghh...

While I was at the front counter, met some difficult patients too, that made my day real bad... Back in the centre (packing area), I am all alone.. Even jia lat.. Sigh... hope things will take a change for the better la...

And when I thought I will take my coat today... I actually tried the size la... Feeling very stressed up. Dont like the feeling of wearing the coat and name tag, because people will ahve higher expectations. its true.. believe me... Today one auntie asked me if I am a temp staff... Felt so 'insulted' in some way. Just because I dont know the polyclinic operations. Sigh...

Felt real incompetetnt.. When...
- I couldnt answer enquiries...
- When I couldnt remember the indications properly.. (mind u, its common drugs like atenolol, common GI drugs... i always mix up stuff....)
- When I couldnt intervene...

Kill me la...

ARGH! I dun feel confident at all!! I know it all takes time.. But I am not even equipped with the most simplest things and knowledge a fresh grad should have! HELP MEEEEEEE!