Is it my inferiority?

Today's really a messed up day. But let me calculate the damage done to my wallet first..

PP Photo: 8 buckeroos
C&K Slip ons: 14.90 buckeroos
Expensive Lunch: 14 Buckeroos
Expensive Dinner: 6 Buckeroos
One real last minute lip colour: 5.50 buckeroos...

I spent real lot. Sigh....

My top gonna arrive late. So now I have got no top for cny.. Sigh..

Today's so messed up for me. Do not want to elaborate any further.

My computer screen is dying soon. Turning white and blue everytime. And it is driving me crazy..

Interview flunked, for sure. I felt like I killed myself with all the answers I gave them. And when I deliberately took out my results slip from letting them see my results, they asked for it. Damn, I am feeling so damn low because of this. I don't know its low self esteem or inferiority that is causing me to feel so low or what. Today I have been feeling all kind of jitters in me. I am nervous for the interview, half of me hope that I can get the job, half of me hope that I do not get the job. At the end of the day, I told myself it's ok whether I get it or not. But now, I do hope.... I still don't know. Either way I will still be relive and depressed at the same time. Pardon me, guess it's all in me. I felt so ... miserable... I couldn't find a more appropraite word for now, but I just felt so useless. And guess what, people around me thought I am the brainy kind of person, haha~ it's kind of funny yet inside me, I hope I am really one brainy person. In fact, I am stupid.. Extremely stupid.

On my way home tonight, I thought a lot of things to myself. I came to think about what kind of person I really am. hen I conclude, I am rather egoistic. I am boastful at times (to certain pple). I am very stupid. And I am rather irritating. But there are times I hope I can feel good about myself too, sadly... or maybe I will feel it someday.

Suddenly I find this post so pointless and dumb. It's like me wallowing in self pity. Oh God please, just take me away. Arghh....