Some Random Thoughts..

I went to sleep after I came back from Tamp interchange. Bought my always-so-expensive HP printer black ink. Felt so much at ease. If not I am going to get all jittery like today, because I can't print anything from my printer from any sites I have got info on!

Have been real busy and stressful for this past weeks. Or should I say, this semester. All thanks to the messed up timetable. Sigh, remember I actually said that I want to do my very best for this sem and try to achieve the best possible results for myself? Guess the enthusiam in me is dying off already. Even my favourite subject, DPP. I am beginning to hate doing research for it. But still, I still love PBL. I do admit I learn a lot a lot more from the usual lectures and tutorials. Or is it that I do not listen in class? Hmm.. I am not someone who anyone can expect me to learn this way. Ok, from my years in poly, I conclude that I sucks at studies. If not for Alicia's (Alicia Chan) help, for always telling me stories for histories, chemistry, physics. I wouldn;t had fared well in my O'levels. If not for her hardworking character, and always doing her hols maths hw duly, I wouldn't have learn so much and eventually passed my maths! (By copying her hw though. *laughs*)

From all these years, I came to realise I am so dependent on the people around me. No matter it is school stuff, work, during events. I always rely on people'e help to get things done. I know if I say lazy, most people will accept it as a fact just like tt. But it had also seems, it had paralysed me, myself in the subconcious state. I could have jolly well depend on myself to get everything done. And I always get reliant on my friends. And not my supposedly closest family. The closest person I can relate to in the family is my sister. I admit that I am too, quite neglient to family activities and stuff like that. I am also hoping for someday, all 4 of us can go out together and have a hearty meal together. It had been a long time since we had did that. But given my dad's job nature, its quite difficult. And also me and my sis temperamental laziness. *LOL* But I do not know why I can't relate to my mum like any of the people out there. Is it because she had said too many harsh words to me? I seriously don't know. Things always took a turn for the worst when things starts to work out between me and her. Maybe when I make my first step to the society, I will see things at a different view. *Laughs* *slaps myself*

But of course, I still love my mum. =) I had talked to her regarding me wanting to further my studies in Aussieland. She gave me the support. But not the assurance though. I am very clear about my family's financial status. But still, I am still a very selfish me. I will want to go and further my studies. For now, it is just a matter of when and where I will go. And of course, how long I will be going.

This year have been a year where good things and bad things happened to me in an alternate manner. It had been good when friendships get rekindled. Bad when there is betrayal of trust, and yes, I guess things will still go on the same way. I may show to be really heck care about what happen, I guess it is just to mask that fear in me things will get out of hand. Of course I hope everything will come to a stop, and I have not talk to him yet. And I am pretty sure I will not talk to him about it at all. I wouldn;t know how to start. I can;t possibly say "Did you lie to me regarding anything?" when I obviously know he did! Things did not turn sour because like I said again, I chose to pretend normal. Pretency gets me nowhere. But at least not a downhill for both of us, for rather, us.

I have been getting very tired on how things are recently. Maybe it's due to PMS, or some aftermaths of getting back my term test results. I am just not cut out for exams. Seriously I can swear on that. Or maybe it's due to lack of preparations again. It had always been the case. I still feel those tingling extra emotions when I became too aware of what's happening around me at that moment, and I shall not further elaborate on that. Because I see no point in doing that when its clearly the extra randomly thinking me doing something unwanted again. =)

Sigh, think I better stop all these random shit. Guess (again, zzz) I just need to learn to trust people. And get some proper shit into my head. Ok, time for some important annoucement. *clear throats* My handphone is offcially dead on 22nd July 2005 (My mum's birthday. LoL) between 4am - 8am. And when I went to the A&E section today at Century Square Samsung Service centre, I am told that I need to pay a good ol' $270 buckeroos for a change of motherboard. How good can it be. Man, guess (once again) I will be handphone-less for sometime, maybe a week? Till then, I will need to compile all contacts I had built in poly so far again. All my ASc contacts, teachers contacts. ALL GONE. *wails* And those pictures in my phone. GONE TOO! *screams* Who can help me? ARGH!

Ok, I shall end it here. It's getting far too lengthy. Shall end it with a personality quiz I did a hour ago. Here it goes. *smiles*

What others see from your style
You tend to not be very imaginative. You lack self-confidence and are not very particular about what you choose in your life. You give in to others and prefer stability to change.
What your nightclothes reveal
You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.

What others see from your ties
You are kind and friendly. You are an uncomplicated person and enjoy exciting activities.
What others see from your belts
You don't like to show your feelings. Normally, you are gentle and friendly, but you don't like socializing. It can be difficult to get to know you well, and you probably only have a few close friends.

What others see from your shoes
You are a person who loves simplicity and is sincere and open. You are pleasant to be with, easygoing and always in a good mood. You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control. You don't care much about how you look, and know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important.

What others see from your earrings
You are probably an independent and strong-willed person. Fairness is important to you, and you always stand up for what you believe in. You are friendly and get along well with people.
The last analysis

You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.