Wrong thing at a wrong time..

I guess I am someone who can really hide how I feel.

I have to contantly remind myself this is not the time to break into pieces. This is not the time to crumble into bits and start to sort out my mind to get ready for everything all over again. Just because, this is not the time yet.

But how much can we control our fate? Our mind? Our emotions? Sometimes I guess we couldn't control as much as we want the control to be.

Guess getting tired of everything and just want to run away from reality is a part and parcel of life that every single one will go through. I am no exception. But how long can one feel like this? I myself won't want it to sustain for too long, because I know it will hinder me in every work I do. But how much am I able to control how I feel?

How I wish I am someone who can just cry readily when I feel like crying. How I wish I am someone who can just pour every single bits of problems I have in my mind when I am really very vexed. How I wish I am someone who does not need to hide my emotions. Yes, I do complain, I do whine. But to a certain extent, I realise I am not being truthful enough to myself. How truthful can one be infront of your friends and folks? I can be very truthful, but definitely not to how I feel.

I guess dilemma exists in every situations. But how do I take control of it? Don't ask me now. My life seems to be in a mess. Call me a deep thinker. I do not care. But maybe I am really one.

Something I should really go and learn. Is to be truthful to how I feel.

That's all people. I have to start packing my bag for tmr's camp. Nitez