Some thots for the day... Or rather Week..

These days have been feeling quite low actually. Like I had mentioned in my previous few entries, I hate the feeling of my mum crawling up to me and start chanting on the money we spent... The faults she see in my father. How wrong my father is, how my father did not give her money. I came to think, my dad did does the thing he could already. Why can't my mum understand. My mum always thinks that I am on my father's side. Yes, I do admit that I am more to my dad's side. But she gotta iron it out straight. When we explain something to her, she will accept and take it into her stride... for the moment only. The very next day she will come howling at you for the very same matter. Getting so sick and tired of such situations, yet I can't do anything to stop all these. We are one family, yet she is so calculating..... To every single one of us. Even with my sis's pay. My sis worked hard for her pay. SHe deserved to keep part of her pay. Or I must say, since she earned the money, she have got the right to spend it the way she want. But why my mum keep constraining this and that? Well, my sis and mum do always quarrel over monetary matters. arghh...

Got back my PC paper. Did very badly. Gotta be one of the worse paper I had fared in the entire 2 years of poly. But I know the worse is not here yet. I am going to fare even worse for PA. I do not know why I do not feel depressed. I do not have that surge of motivation to study hard. Frankly speaking, something is very wrong with me.... again. Last semester I can study. But enough of last sem... I have been hanging that word around my mouth for quite sometime. Time to move ahead dude. Sigh... I detest school more than ever now. I tihnk I felt very inferior. I did not put myself tp compete with anyone. Because it is an obvious competition. I am going to lose out if I pit myself against my peers and classmates. But how about myself? I had failed the fight with myself! I am very tired. I felt useless! Not being able to help in projects, not being able to understand a single word the tutor/lecturer is talking about. All is greek to me! I did listen in class. Even though I got turn off. But I did tried! Ah... heck it. I hate school.

Haven been feeling very low. But what is the use of feeling this way? Heck la heck la heck la~