No one understands.... Nah! Better off dead~

Sometimes things that occured around me set me thinking does my presence make any difference to the pple around me? Or am I just someone who can be ordered around, be howled at, be chided at, being backstabbed, and let pple take advantge of. I am SICK of my life k. I really no longer see the purpose of my presence any more.

At school, I think I shall be frank. I felt damn useless lor. That explains why I often choose to escape. People may say that it is just an excuse for me to laze around, and continue to slack. But you u were in my shoes, watching pple around u doing well, and start to improve. While myself is still stuck in tt dark pithole, how will u feel? You all know why I have been laughing like hell in school? I feel like crying do u all know that? Guess no one do... but well, sometimes my friens really do perks me up. For that, I thank them. Exams are near, but I think of nothing but hoping to stay at home and be a couch potato. Impossible maybe? Suan le........

Back at home, no encouragement but naggings, orders as always.... "Remember to wash my uniform ah! Xi xiang xiang ah!" If I forgot to wash, "Wah lao, fuck la~ Why u din wash my clothes" And I will have to stay with tt stupid temper of hers. I know she will be reading this, but I don't care. She knows tt I don't like to wash her clothez EVERYDAY. No longer want to ask her to wash herself, she will say it's my job, who ask me don;t clear those laundry every weekend. But think of it, she only got 2 uniform tops, and want to change everyday. So I will still be washing anyway. And while I was washing, I have to stand with the naggings from another person. "You think we very rich ah? You know the price of electricity and water going up or not?" Eh! Ask your precious daughter la. If I say that, she will say "Who ask u don;t wash your clothes regularly?" I have e time ah? "Who say u don;t have the time? Everytime see u play game" As if I do not need relaxation? "Everytime see u also play game one" I will always stop here. Too tired to go on, these things goes on EVERYDAY! I feel like I am noone but a slave lor. Or maybe a daughter trying hard to please everyone in the household or maybe another someone who want to pissed everyone off......... I hate it lor, I got ordered around my someone younger than me in terms of age and level. I got ordered around by the two old head of e family. Ya, I admit at times they are really nice... But It's at times. I do not hate them, I just had come to a point where I am SICK & TIRED of everything that revolves around my life. This feeling have been with me since poly starts. Maybe because I am suffering from serious academic defiency ba.

I do not know if I am suffering from some Pre-exams fever, But somehow or rather, I am sure I am not... because this feeling have been with me for quite long already.

And for this reason, I am ctually thinking of closing this blog. or maybe open a new blog, and maybe no one will know e url. I just need some place for me to vent all my frustrations. I hope that I can please everyone, I do not want pple to get irritated, sad, angry because of me. And I take in high regard pple impression of me very seriously. Maybe that's y I often turn low very easily? Bah~ Don;t know la~ I need a break... Set me free............